November/December 2016
I went away on a 4 day photography trip to Glencoe at the beginning of November. I was lucky enough to go with a friend Nick who runs photography workshops in Glencoe, who was kind enough to pick me up, do all the driving, and get me as close as possible to the best photographic spots. I dont think I had to walk more than 800ft more than once. So Nick, made one of the things on my bucket list possible by helping me in this way, Ive dreamed of going to Glencoe again for years but have been unable to due to my inability to drive, my physical limitations and consequential financial restraints. I feel so lucky that not only did I get to go to one of my favourate places, but I got to play with my camera, I went with friends and it snowed, making for beautiful wintery scenes. I dont know if Nick actually realises what a massive treat this was for me, nor how much it meant. Scotland is where my heart is and it mustve been about 12 years since I last got to the Western highlands. So Nick, if you read this - your kindness and helpfulness in taking me there meant the world and I will never forget it. You really did something special those few days, which Im sure you still have no idea of its impact. It wasnt easy for me, I got through it only by taking drinks with D ribose constantly to keep my energy going, taking a ridiculous cocktail of pain killers and anti inflammatories, plus supplements just to get me through each day. But there was no way I was going to miss a minute of it. I think pure determination and adrenaline helped get me through it too :).
Anyway, we stayed at a hostel to keep costs down, sharing a room that was like a sauna, situated in Glencoe. Took packed lunches so we could stay out all day and catch the light/ not miss anything weather wise. It was bitterley cold, but we were well prepared with our winter woollies and wellies.
We had just about every type of weather thrown at us apart from a heat wave. Here are a few of the resulting photos scattered in this blog
Amazingly I did not suffer too much from this trip, I think it was down to activity being in short bursts, with lots of periods spent resting in the car. I couldnt quite keep up with Nick and Jed but I certainly made a good effort.
November also saw the parting of ways between my partner John and I, for many reasons and a fair amount of resulting stress particular in December. I am hopeful that he will get his own health 123issues sorted and maybe we can be friends and do a little photography together in time.
December was a quieter month, I had a lovely trip out with friends to Bolam lake and also assisted a friend in photographing a wonderful Asian styled engagement party. Unfortunately this day resulted in me being ill for the best part of a week. Lesson learned there, no long photography sessions.
But it was a lovely experience.
Christmas was an unusual one. My daughter and I chose to have christmas at home for the first time and we had a lovely peaceful day doing exactly what we wanted.
I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to photograph 16 bands at the O2 as part of the christmas rocks night, over 3 nights. I wasnt too well and ended up having to take frequent breaks resting, sitting down, but those breaks meant I got to shoot each band for a short time and a couple of drinks helped power me through :). I was too exhausted to make it to the second night and had to drag myself along to the 3rd, but I loved the opportunity and Im happy with a few of the images.
I was thrilled that I had a full pass to go behind stage and photograph the drummers for a change too .
New years eve was a lovely night spent with a couple of friends seeing a band in Blyth
2017 - January
Its been a rough start to the year with some flu like bug wiping me out for the first couple of weeks, I tried going out mid January, only to meet a friend for coffee, and had to catch a taxi there as I was so exhausted from getting ready. I enjoyed myself so much that I stayed out longer, then missed the bus home, resulting standing in the freezing cold too long. The results were being ill for another two weeks, unable to get out at all. Even just putting my rubbish out one day ended up with me having to lie down for an hour. So January has been a missed month. A little lonely stuck in with only one visitor in the whole month. Yes, being single with this disease can be a lonely business, when you mainly see friends anywhere but home.
February
So its February 7th already!
I decided in my wisdom that this month I was going to start trying my previous plan to rebuild my stamina and strength like I did in 2014. Ive put weight on which isnt exactly a good idea for me, so started to revert back to my previous healthy diet, lots of smoothies, juices and healthy low fat meals. Ive managed to lose my first 6lbs easily. I aim to lose another 1.5 stone to be a nice healthy weight for my height. Loads of good healthy nutrition to help me feel the best that I can . It will take as long as it will take, Im not rushing it.. Im not sure why I actually stopped being vegetarian for a couple of weeks recenly. Im now reflecting on whether to go back to being vegetarian or whether to eat meat occassionally. Im rereading a great book called Raw energy which will help me focus on the positives of plants in my diet. However, Im really feeling a lot more positive after eating better. I think that letting my diet slip definately had an effect psychologically too.
Exercise wise every attempt Ive made has resulted in full blown M.E symptoms. Its like walking on the moon. Some days Ive struggled just getting ready and getting a few household chores done. But Ive been pushing myself to do just a tiny bit extra each day. I tried using my exercise bike, only for 15 minutes, it wasnt easy, and I know now that 15 minutes was too much. I could barely stand up afterwards ha ha. The next two days I was just in a complete daze with no energy. My planned short walks just havent happenned, just a walk down my two flight of stairs and 200-400ft along the street has actually been my limit some days, but its better than nothing, and if I keep at it then the distances will increase over time. I really really want to climb one of my favourite hills in the Lake district later this year, and this is my goal. But its going to have to be a very slow progress, its just the only way when you have M.E.
Spring is rapidly unfolding. I managed to get out yesterday for a trip to town with my beautiful daughter, There were a tonne of Hellebores flowering in their various colours by the university. It was such a pleasure to be out, despite bitterly cold wind and rain later on. We hit the charity shops as we love the variety in them, then a few other shops around town and treat ourselves. Now this lovey trip out really verified the need to go slower in building up my activity. Over a few hours I managed to walk 1.7 miles around town, sitting down about 8 times for rests. It was a struggle, but once there, there was no turning back and no easy way home unless I caught a taxi. Its so easy to get stuck in a situation like this. I know that point where Ive over one things a bit, but by then its too late, being a good walk to the bus stop and then another good walk from the bus to home. It all adds up. So after a dreadful night and day today Ive decided to stick to just the short walks outside my home for now, or minimising the distance and duration if meeting friends. Im forced into resting tomorrow now. I will take it easy on Thursday also as Ive a night out planned on Friday which includes half a mile walk just getting there and back, and Im determined to have a night out - my first this year.
Ultimately its pretty frustrating, and being single has certainly meant a lot of time spent on my own. I actually enjoy having my own space, but this illness is robbing me of opportunities to socialise. Ive completely stopped working as its virtually impossible at present. Although, I do work on my photography from home, editing images, promoting my images etc and do still make jewellery, theyve both moved into the hobby category whilst I just work on trying to build my stamina enough so that I can have a semi normal life and actually see people.
I hate that describing my life does include a lot of negatives. But its my reality. I dont feel negative though. I feel hopeful and motivated. Spring is here and I love this season, its new beginnings, the start of new life. I appreciate trips out and seeing family and friends. I see the positives in each day. So my positives lately- a lovely day out with my daughter. some fantastic photographic opportunities, which keep me busy editing for months. Ive had time to enjoy watching a few good box sets, watch youtube videos to learn new photographic techniques and to read, Ive been planning jewellery designs and planning ideas for photoshoots once Im well enough.
Plans
So
1 Im increasing my physical activity slowly
2 Im aiming to lose weight
3 Eating healthy
4 Im working on writing a couple of articles to submit to magazines
5 Ive a few short trips out planned to see friends and bands
6 Im continuing to make jewellery and felt items
Long term
Photoshoots, climbing my mountain, hopefully getting out walking more frequently., a trip to Skye and trip to the Lake district. Spending more time with family and friends.
