At first it was hard making new friends, but I discovered Meetup, which is a worldwide website helping people meet new friends with similar interests. There is a local group called New friends in Newcastle and they have all sorts of events, from going for a meal, to see a band, attend local events and even holidays. I only went along to a handful of events in 2014 but went to quite a few in 2015 and even hosted my own meetups to find others who enjoyed seeing rock bands. I still get to meetups but only once or twice month at present, but it is always lovely to see everyone.
I also joined a camera club but after a year felt it wasn't for me, but have made some nice friends through it who I will stay in touch with.
Once my daughter and I had found somewhere to live and finally got our furniture from down south and moved, then settled in, I started reaching out to local creative groups to find other photographers, models, make up artists etc so I could do the occasional model photo shoot, again I've made a few lovely friends in doing this and ended up published in magazines a few times. The photo shoots have done have been sporadic and with lots of kindly offered help physically from others involved. I've not managed any shoots in the past 4 months unfortunately due to the M.E. Below are a few of the mages from shoots over the last 2 years, its easy to think negatively when feeling unwell so much of the time, but looking back through these has really helped me to see just how much I have achieved ( with help)
In 2014 I decided to try to improve my health by losing weight and with healthier diet. I started juicing and for a good 7 months or so substituted one or two meals a day (plus snacks) with a super healthy home made vegetable a fruit juice. I started trying to walk every other day, building up to a mile then two miles very very slowly, increasing the frequency and pushing myself to do this no matter how exhausted I felt. Within 6 months I did actually manage to walk an 8 mile walk on flat ground, only once though, but I did manage a handful of 5 mile walks too. I lost 50 lbs and felt the best I've felt with the M.E in 7 years. Although I still struggled with many tasks such as anything holding my hands above my head - drying hair, hanging washing out, trying to wash windows etc and various tasks bending down such as trying to wash a floor. Despite advice from the M.E specialist physiotherapist who reckoned repeatedly trying to do these activities would help me to actually do them in the end - this has never happened. Walking is the only exercise I was able to perform and increase, for a few short months. Later in the year walking became increasingly difficult, for no reason I could put my finger on. I continued to try hard but things didn't change.
Early 2015 I ended up with flu and a chest infection and since then I've not managed to get my health back to how it was in 2013, I have tried and managed some shorter walks in summer 2015 but suffered so much with exhaustion, pain and malaise /brain fog afterwards. Every time I did increase activity levels, even a small amount, I ended up ill for days or weeks.
Even through all this I set up my photography business, working from home running reptile photography days for 4 hours at a time, aiming to run one a week. I set up in December 2014 with help from a local business enterprise and my local housing association - who were impressed with my drive and published a small article re my business near the end of 2015. I found that I could set up my lights, backdrop and props etc one or 2 days before the workshops, reserving all my energy on the actual day, then put everything away a couple of days later when I had recovered from the 4 hours on my feet. I've not managed any workshops for the past few months though, so I've put that all on hold as I'm barely managing 30 minutes on my feet without serious suffering afterwards. I did try 2 hour sessions but it really wasn't worth making myself ill for 2 hours work. Hopefully once I'm feeling better than I am at present then maybe I can restart the workshops, although I'm not keen on continually inviting strangers into my home and the "studio" constantly being set up in my living room. I do still sell my images though and I have been approached by a book company recently so will see how that goes. I also won a few highly commended awards with the SWPP for some of my work, I'm still aiming for a Fellowship award and I'm slowly working on 2 bodies of work to submit. Below are two images that won awards
So the last few months the M.E has been much worse than its been in the 9 years that I've had it. Some days I struggle just to get ready and get through the day at home, I find it difficult to cook a proper home cooked meal most days, and I've even struggled drying myself following a bath, and often cant dry my hair so have to let it dry - which horrifies me - I hate having frizzy hair, I like to be well groomed and wont go out with my hair as it dries on its own. I've struggled with brain function, concentration too, becoming forgetful and I've not even been safe crossing roads - my daughter has prevented me from having and accident crossing roads twice. I forget if I've taken my tablets or not, so now pop them into a dispenser. I have also started experiencing widespread pain, every day, most of the day. This has only happened once since I've had M.E and only lasted a couple of months. But this has lasted a good 3-4 months now. I will only take my pain relief once a day though as its addictive, some days I try to go without - and its difficult, but there are the days where I need to take it more often so it balances out at one dose a day. I will try to continue like this as I'm determined not to to rely on them. I've yet to determine the cause of the pain, but have an appointment with the M.E team in March where I will discuss this amongst other problems. I've also had the worst problems sleeping I've ever had, frequently being unable to sleep for 30-40 hours - another thing to discuss with the M.E team.
Whilt stuck in and feeling ill Ive tried distracting myself by learning jewellery making techniques slowly and Ive managed to make a few nice pieces for myself. Im keen to make a go of selling jewellery online at some point, and hopefully at craft fairs, but this would mean I need to be well enough to manage a day doing this and Im certinly not lately. A few of my hand made jewellery and art pieces below.
So that's where I'm at at present, not too well but still trying to do something positive with my life.
I will try to post more often. Im working on a new bucket list for this year as I had one for last year and managed quite a few things off it. I will share more in my next blog.
