M.E. symptoms explained Cognitive dysfunction - Brain fog

 One of the most embarrassing and disabling symptoms of M.E. is what we commonly call Brain fog, known in medical terms as cognitive dysfunction.

Ive cheated for this as copying and pasting from the ME associations website( in red) - as suffering from brain fog right now!  This explains it well.

Often referred to as ‘brain fog’ by people with ME/CFS, cognitive dysfunction is how doctors refer to problems with normal mental functioning – concentration and short-term (working) memory in particular.

It’s a worrying and often very frustrating part of having ME/ CFS. The symptoms can fluctuate and vary from mild to severe. The cause remains uncertain and there is no effective form of drug treatment available – although self-help coping strategies can be helpful.

What is cognitive dysfunction

Typical symptoms include:

• Short-term memory lapses
• Difficulty in concentrating or sustaining attention
• Difficulty with processing incoming information and retrieving stored information
• Trouble finding the right word, remembering or mixing up commonly used words
• Problems with carrying out everyday tasks that involve any form of sustained mental activity

Problems with short-term memory and poor concentration inevitably lead to other cognitive difficulties.

“In practice, cognitive dysfunction means that people with ME/CFS experience problems with a wide range of tasks that relate to normal and effective mental functioning. In particular, they experience significant difficulties with short-term memory, the learning and processing of new information, and the ability to concentrate for more than short periods of time.” Please follow the link here for a lot more on this symptom and how it affects people with M.E. MEA Cognitive dysfunction Brain fog has been an extremely prominent symptom for me, even worse than usual recently. Tasks like creating this blog need breaking down over days or weeks and enlisting help from others at times. I would normally then do spell checks and double check what I have written for errors but I have decided not to do this anymore - so people can see exactly how it is affecting me at any one time.  How it is affecting my life - I am constantly forgetting things - not just words but actual events or memories. Apparently I have discussed something I brought up with my partner this week 3 times in the past and I have no recollection of discussing it despite him trying to prompt memories - I simply can not recall, I find this quite upsetting some times but try not to let it bother me. Practically it can be dangerous or have an impact on my life - I left my bank card at my local shop, I have left doors unlocked at home, forgotten the cooker or my heat pad is switched on, attempted crossing a road thinking it is safe when it is not ( my daughter has pulled me to safety many times). I cannot remember if or when I have taken medication - so use a dosing box - but frequently cannot recall what time I took pain relief - I make a note when its bad. Sometimes it can make me feel disorientated and affect me visual or spatially - I can be clumsy often. Brain fog can affect our attention span, ability to concentrate, understanding things, working things out, and making decisions - the amount of time I struggle to make a decision simply because I struggle to think of the  issues surrounding etc I have lost count. I did not even know my decision making was affected by the brain fog until recently. We learning more about M.E. and its effects all the time - and forgetting bits of it all the time too 😁 Often doing too much physically or mentally, or even stress and bring on brain fog or worsen it. Another symptom that also affects our thinking is background noise/light and activity. For example sometimes when I have brain fog I cannot follow a simple conversation with one person when there is background noise such as Tv, other people chatting, music, lights flashing etc. It is why I avoid noisy environments a lot of the time or if I am out to see a band occassionally I will not chat to people much because I simply cant at times.  The effects of all this can leave people feeling quite vulnerable. Note it took me 4 sessions to write this slowly because of brain fog - having to lie down after one session. I also started to write a whole new version 3 months later - completely forgetting I had written this one and saved it as a draft ready to check it over! So this demonstrates how badly my memory is affected.

M.E symptoms explained - 1 Confusion

 What it’s like to have M.E. Symptoms explained.

1 Confusion - a symptom I have experience today and more frequently lately. One hour My brain can be functioning ok ish then with little to no warning I can become confused- affecting my ability to remember things or work simple things out such as navigating the new Facebook layout, finding a channel on tv or recently I could not work out how to navigate my way around a local nature reserve on my scooter despite knowing it well, even conversation can be difficult. This can make one feel quite vulnerable and can be distressing at times. So if someone you know with ME struggles suddenly when conversing or requests assistance to do something that appears simple - please do not think they are stupid - they may actually be highly intelligent but this illness can be causing this issue ( more symptoms in this area will be mentioned)

I want people to understand ME better- why? So that people like me don’t get harassed for taking a disabled parking spot, or don’t get laughed at or given filthy looks ( or have judgemental comments made) being on a mobility scooter, so that people stop thinking that because we appear to “look well” for an hour or two on the day’s where we actually manage to get out that we are well, it being thought of as lazy when we would give anything to be able to do just half of what we could pre illness. Plus a whole host of other reasons. ME is one of the most complicated illnesses I have encountered despite being a nurse previously - being told to man up and exercise or just push through can and does make us worse in many cases. So I will be making frequent posts to help people to understand- even many of our Drs dont understand because they are taught very little about ME and do not keep up to date on it - some don’t even believe it exists- we have to literally fight for help at our weakest.

Please do not comment with sympathy- I am trying to educate people - at the very least I hope my friends will understand me better and why you don’t see me very often. This is the start of a new series of short blogs only explaining symptoms and what we experience, what we have to go through as a result of having M.E.

Update on diet

Well Ive been following the Plant paradox diet for almost 2 months now, with one 3 day break where I thought I would try introducing a few foods again then by my 3rd day I really regretted this decision to promptly reverted back to following the diet strictly. Ive been sticking to stage 2 of the plan and my brain fog is definately  reduced a lot, although its not completely gone - I definately still get it worse  post activity, so mostly M.E related connected to post exertional malaise. My cognitive functioning has improved a good bit too although Im still experiencing difficulty  with  tasks such as learning how to work something new or  problem solving. My memory remains poor and this doesnt seem to have changed. Overall I would say my cognitive functioning has improved maybe 20-30% some days, but unchanged other days and brain fog has improved by between 20% and 60% some days,  however this is extremely variable and some days it remains the same as it was. It is hard to say  if other factors may be affecting this such as poor sleep or PEM , or if it is diet related. Personally I feel it is down to a mixture of these and the diet has reduced these symptoms  helping me to function mentally a bit better than I was on some days.

My pain levels have definately improved since starting this diet, they increased substantially when I added foods back in for 3 days and reduced when changing back.  Although on trying to be more active I still get high levels of pain in the days afterwards regardless of diet or whether activity is paced and minimal or  increased a lot (for me - this could simply be having a shower, drying my hair and attempting to cook an easy meal in one day, doing an hours photography sat in the garden). But on days where I pace and keep my activity levels at  my regular normal amount then pain can be reduced by up to 75%( with the odd day of very little pain), on days where I do a little more it is probably still reduced by 30%, and active or post active days it remains pretty much as it has been. I did actually have two weeks of much lower levels of pain and  reduced my pain killers to almost stopping them, but then it increased again - partly because I was  being more active - it gets frustrating doing so little and it can be worth being in pain just to keep myself occupied or have a feeling that I have achieved something.

My sleep has improved a lot overall, apart from a couple of weeks and the odd night I have slept much better most of the time ( ? 70% of the time sleeping well) My fatigue levels dont feel any different to me and my energy levels  dont feel noticeably different, although my partner has stated that on observing me it appears as if I have a bit more energy and I appear to be managing a bit better. I cannot say that I feel a great deal different with both of these. I still struggle having a shower a have to sit on the side of the bath to dry myself and have just put on a dressing gown to absorb the water when too exhausted to dry myself. Im am still struggling to dry my hair most of the time. I have had a little bit more stamina walking around home some days, but this is not consistent, my legs still get wobbly, weak, jumpy and feel like Im walking on the moon at times.

I have noticed that Ive felt the cold less and my hands and feet have not been so cold as much - whether this is because  of warmer weather/higher temperatures or maybe Im better at preventing my hands and feet getting cold, or a combination of both. Plus due to the restrictions on leaving home due to the current pandemic Ive only actually been out on my scooter once in about 6/7 weeks or so - just a local exploration. So Ive not been outdoors as much as usual, which is where I feel the cold most, but I have been in our garden  probably about 3-4 days a week for up to an hour at a time.

My partner and I have decided to try phase three of the diet, but only introducing one food at a time. I will be trying tomatoes first - fresh, peeled, deseeded and pressure cooked to reduce lectins. This one food could make a big difference to my food options.  I have unfortunately been unable to buy pasture raised chicken and eggs, the pandemic situation has made it even more difficult to obtain many specialist foods, so I have settled for free range eggs and normal chicken - I suspect these have slightly negatively affected my brain fog again - Im going to monitor this over the next few weeks and if I think it is then I will just stop having chicken and try to get omega 3 eggs again ( there is only one place selling these and its miles away - we arent supposed to travel unless for essential reasons such as food, medical reasons etc and I doubt my reason of getting brain fog from normal eggs would be accepted as the shop selling them is a good ten miles or so away). But if lockdown is going to be for many months then I guess one trip a month should be out of the question given how limited my diet is. ( limited veg, wild fish, limited types of nut, extremely limited fruit and very little else)

Its been a very strange couple of months where life has changed for people around the whole world due to the Corona virus pandemic, in a way it has affected me a lot less than people living a normal life without an illness, as I have little choice but to spend pretty much most of my life at home. Whilst I would say I am mostly adjusted to this way of life, I was used to getting out for a drive most weeks with Michael and going for a ride on my scooter anywhere between twice a month and twice a week. Now I find myself in the strange position of worrying about being stopped if I go out for essential exercise as an able bodied person might not appreciate that I used a lot of muscles in using my scooter - especially as I generally use it in nature reserves on rough ground, this means it can sometimes be difficult just to stay on it!

 I use muscles in my back, my legs when I am going up and down slopes, my arms for steering and generally keeping the steering from veering the wrong way etc. Now to anyone who is fit and healthy this may be hard to imagine, but my muscles are wasted and weak, using my scooter for up to an hour can actually leave me exhausted for the next couple of days. Not just using it but there is the getting ready to go out, the walking to the car and back, the few steps I takes as I am exploring where I get off to look at a plant, insect or view etc. All this keeps my muscles from completely wasting - can I do this my moving round at home - not really. I cannot use the same muscles and dont intend to lose the level of functioning that I have as it can take months on end building any level of fitness back up with M.E. - Im still working on  rebuilding the level of activeness I used to have before my major crash over 20 months ago!  So I will be starting to attempt going out on my scooter locally (in the local streets and nature reserve one mile away) providing I can keep the social distance  from people- unfortunately there are many selfish and ignorant people who do not care if they pass the virus on and will walk right next to you - its not easy to get out of peoples way on a street path with a kerb on a scooter, so the wider paths on certain roads nearby or parts of the nature reserve will work best for me.

 I have been experimenting at home and in our garden with a cheap old Helios 44/2 lens which Michael kindly modified for me - I love the effect it has given( see the dreamy look above and below this paragraph) This is more pronounced when shooting at a shallow depth of field, but only a tiny area is in focus and this is tricky to achieve with manual exposure and other difficulties affecting peak exposure, but its been fun and I will continue to use it for floral work. I have a couple of magazines interested in publishing some of the resulting images.

I have also been producing more background images using this lens and have added these to my texture collection which I have decided to sell. I still need to work out how best to go about selling them as I have had some interest, but not sure its enough interest to make it worth while paying for a digital downloads shop online. Something for me to sort over the coming months.

Another reason it has been a strange month is birthdays -it has not only been my birthday, my partner Michaels birthday but my daughters 21st birthday - all in the middle of lockdown without being able to see anyone. Now I am used to this - Ive had many birthdays where Ive been unable to go out due to M.E - but I usually made it out within a few weeks but its hard for a young lady celebrating her 21st alone - literally seeing nobody, but we tried to make the best of it. In the weeks running up to her birthday I managed to get about 15 short videos from her friends and family especially for her birthday. The singer from one of her favourite bands agreed to create a video specially for her and sang two songs in it - this really made her smile. Then she had a long video chat with me followed by video chats with friends.

I actually had a birthday drink about a week or so following my birthday - my first alcoholic drink since New years day! I stopped trying to drink any alcohol after having reactions to it almost every time I tried - one or two mouthfuls of wine or ale would make me feel breathless with a racing heart and as if poison had been poured into my veins. It would settle and usually I could have a couple of pints after an hour or two but it wasnt enjoyable and was not worth it so I stopped drinking alcohol - not that I drank often, probably a couple of times a month. I decided to try a glass of mead and had no bad reaction at all so ended up having two glasses. I am allowed a glass of red wine on this diet so figured a small amount of mead occassionally cant be too bad - im pretty sure it doesnt have lectins, although the sugar content may be high, but I am allowed a spoonful of honey now and then, so its not that far from my diet.

I have two new Preying mantids now a Rain forest mantid and a Malaysian blue mantid which I was able to order with my regular live food delivery for my other pets. Theyre super cute - expect to see lots of photos over coming months.

The best made plans

Well I made it to my 5th week on the Plant Paradox diet before my plans of sticking to it became more difficult due to the most unusual and sad changes affecting the whole world now - Covid 19 - a new Corona virus which has spread round the world in a matter of months, resulting in thousands dying and life changing in ways that we in Britain haven't seen since world war 2. Due to the need for the majority of people being ordered to stay home by our government, to stop the spread of disease ( quite rightly so) there have been knock on effects in how we obtain shopping. If you are healthy you can take a trip to shops as infrequently as possibly to buy food or medication, but if you have an existing illness or are over 70 it is advised that you stay home, isolate and shield.  So this is what I am doing, and we are trying to avoid my partner going shopping as well. It has been incredibly difficult to get a full shopping list online - many items that are impossible to buy - such as the dairy free, sugar free, soy free coconut yoghurt that I get or omega 3/pasture raised eggs - which without I end up just eating fish and vegetables - not easy weeks on end! So I decided to stop following the diet during our current crisis and try again when things settle down.

However, after 3 days, on my 3rd day eating half Plant paradox diet, half normal food my symptoms really started getting worse again. In the month of following the diet my pain levels reduced around 75% most days - I think I only had about 5 days in a month where my pain levels were as they have been prior to this diet and now my pain has increased again. I think I had been a blase apart having pain again - but right now I want to stick to the Plant paradox diet again even though it means eating pretty much nothing other than restricted vegetables ( without lectins - so no tomatoes/peppers/potatoes etc), wild caught fish if we can still get it delivered, restricted nuts ( no peanuts or cashews), certain oils such as coconut/avocado or olive oil, coconut milk.  I think I will just have to try using free range eggs and hope for the best that my symptoms settle down again.

Symptoms helped by 4 weeks of the diet -
pain mostly reduced, also less stiff on moving around
 brain fog and actually being able to use my brain a bit - certainly not back to normal levels but definately much improved - although 3 days into stopping Im struggling to think again!
Sore throats - normally I have sore throats anywhere from 2-6 days a week - by week 3-4 on the plant paradox diet my sore throats only occurred once or twice a week ( it can literally last just a matter of hours)

Off the diet - by my third day off the diet and having lectins again, not only has my pain increase in amount/intensity but with frequency and in so many areas of my body. But I also noticed that the little jumpy, sort of electric shock/twitchy feelings I get in my muscles have suddenly increased and my body feels on high alert again. Writing this is incredibly difficult - I can hardly think of the words that I need - I am literally stopping every sentence or two - forgetting things, searching for my words and feeling mildly muddled/confused - I was not feeling this so much on the diet - it was not cured but I was able to think properly more frequently.

I cant write any more just now as my brain simply wont function, but Im going to try really hard to get the foods I need to stick to this diet - whilst I felt improvements werent massive and energy levels had not improved at all, ending up feeling in pain again with a sore throat every day and my brain not working, my muscles twitching away  is enough to make me get back to it. Although I need to get more inventive on recipes for fish and vegetables as it gets tedious. I want to write more - including stuff about our current situation but feeling too muddled and cant explain just how hard it has been just doing this much - I keep completely forgetting what I was writing and getting confused - stopping and coming back to it. Even struggling to add the images. I have some things I want to write about that I feel are important but I will just have to do it at a later date when my brain will work. How bloody frustrating this is - I had agreed to write an article for a magazine whilst my brain was working a bit better - hoping  it will function better back on the diet again.

On a plus side - I just got awarded 2 golds and 2 highly commended from the SWPP  which made my smile. I feel super lucky that I live somewhere with a garden where I can enjoy watching the flowers, insects and birds during this awful time.
Hoping everyone stays well and safe, thinking of all my lovely friends and family and sending love to you all.

Dietary update - energy levels, explaination of my symptoms of low energy/exhaustion

Week 1 of 8 on the Plant Paradox diet

So its been about a week since I started the Plant Paradox diet advocated by Dr Stephen Grundy. Ive been having green smoothies for breakfasts, wild caught fish plus allowed vegetables such as spinach, roasted cauliflower, fried onions, mushrooms etc, plus nuts ( macadamia, pistachio, hazelnuts) and using avocado oil for cooking boosting fat/calories, drinking herbal/fruit teas ( no sugar).

Ive continued with my regime of looking after myself, listening to my body, getting good sleeps, drinking plenty, pacing everything I do carefully, resting as needed, accepting help/asking for help when Ive needed it, keeping stress levels low, taking all my supplements/vitamins but omitting D Ribbose for a couple of weeks.

So far the only noticeable change is that I have increased clarity in thinking, my brain fog is massively reduced in the last couple of days - now this could be a coincidence or down to my new diet and all the other measures Im putting into practice. I will keep monitoring daily.

I am still experiencing all my other symptoms and my body is continuing to struggle. My energy levels dipped even lower - to rock bottom for a few days after starting the diet - this is hard to explain but  when my energy levels are at rock bottom and I try to do something simple such as brush my teeth - I get totally exhausted and the muscles that I am using for the task feel painful, like a burning feeling, but also as if they are not getting energy/oxygen to the muscles Im using. I feel mildly breathless and unable to complete the task - having to stop quickly as my muscles /limbs cannot function. Its really hard to explain this feeling to anyone who doesnt have M.E. - yes it is an exhaustion/fatigue but unlike any exhaustion Ive felt prior to having M.E.  The only thing I can liken it to is when I used to go hiking and climbing mountains or cycling - when I would push myself to my limits ( I did this a lot as I wanted to cycle fasted each time) - at the moment of pushing myself past my limits I could quite literally feel the burn in my muscles - when I ran out of energy/fuel/was getting hungry etc I could feel this in my muscles - I could feel a different sort of pain in my muscles - whether it was overuse, lack of energy because I had burned all my body fuel - so was hungry/thirsty needing to eat/drink, or I was so out of breath that oxygen wasnt getting to my muscles enough. Possibly all of those. But that burning /aching feeling and difficulty in keeping going because of lack of whichever fuel is very very similar to the feeling I get with M.E. when my energy is low - but through careful pacing and all my management techniques Ive managed to help reduce this feeling, despite incredibly low energy levels. My energy levels are always low since having M.E, but this last 18 months or so of relearning more pacing techniques and being stricter in sticking to my regime as resulted in my energy levels being more of a 15-30% level instead of the 5-10 % that I get when I cannot manage anything. The 5-10 % is where I estimate that my burning /minimum energy levels cause my most of the exhaustion and inability to do simple tasks. So I feel starting this diet has knocked my energy levels back down to the lowest they have been again.

However, I listen to my body carefully and I know that my body functions better on higher levels of animal protein than the 3-4 ounces that Dr S Grundy suggests in his dietary plan. His plan isnt created with people who have M.E. in mind its to help people with many illness and is not specific to energy levels/energy manufacture - where as Dr Myhills paleo keto diet which encourages higher amounts of animal protein and fats is specifically aimed at helping M.E. patients to produce energy more efficiently. So given this reasoning, plus my nursing knowlegde and knowing during healing our body's require more protein, I decided to increase my animal protein intake to twice a day - double what Dr Grundy advocates - I started eating closer to 200grams wild caught fish each day and within 2 days could feel some difference - I need to monitor this carefully and observe how my body responds whilst keeping everything else the same.

After the 3 days phase one I moved into phase two of the eating plan which allowed me more food choices and I follow this for another week, after which I can also add in Olive oil and coconut oil - the extra fats will hopefully give me more energy. I am looking forward to that. I remain in ketosis - tested with urine sticks daily.

I heard today that my aquaintence who largely recovered with this diet is eating a mostly normal diet now although gluten free, and is living a normal healthy life still - this gives me so much hope. So I am sticking to the plan for another 7 weeks - and evaluating as I go.

As usual I like to round off on a positive and add in my positives for the week. This weeks positives - There were a couple of articles about me, my photography and how it helps me to cope with M.E. on the Evening Chronicle website ( well written I thought) and in the Sunday Sun newspaper. It is myy are f hope that my story raises awareness of M.E. and also that it gives hope/inspiration to those with it.

I submitted a bit about my story to the M.E. association and heard back that they are going to share my blog on their website, they already shared it on their facebook page. They also replied to say that they will include my story in their publications for M.E awareness week in May. Im particularly happy about this - its good to be involved and to help with raising awareness.

I got to spend a half hour photographing my favourite flowers this week - Anemones - Anemone mistral pastel blues and I have some some Anemone neros to photograph in the coming days - Im trying to keep them cool enough to last a week so I can have a couple of short sessions photographing them.

Yesterday I did something I rarely manage these days - I baked cakes! My partner set a high stool in the kitchen for me - I gathered the ingredients ready on the bench the previous day and my partner grated a couple of carrots ready for me. I made carrot cakes  - but following a recipe in the Plant paradox cookbook - theyre not bad and its nice to have a snack type food.  It might not sound like a lot making some simple cakes - all I did was weigh and mix the ingredients - but it took it out of me. But its a little achievement, its nice to actually manage something with an end result and nice to contribute to making food - not that I will do it often whilst I am like I am at present. I only manage doing something that uses that much energy about once a week or fortnight at the moment, but it beats sitting on the sofa!

Taking control

After 14 years of having M.E. and the medical profession/NHS pretty much failing big time in helping me ( and most other M.E. patients) to be well ( other than pacing), I have researched and tried many things to help me to be as well as I possibly can. I am not in denial of having M.E. Ive accepted it a long time ago, however there are many stories of people who have recovered or at least managed to get there health into a better state leading to having more of a life - in the last year a friend of a friend appears to be well on her road to recovery - through researching and changing things like nutrition. To see her photographs of her on holidays up in the hills etc gives me hope, and so this last few months I have been trying to find my own path to recovery yet again. 

As previously, I have looked at nutrition again and last year I came across a Dr Myhills book explaining how a paleo ketogenic diet can help the body to produce energy more efficiently. The diet involves cutting out dairy, gluten and grains, sugar, fruit sugar and high carbohydrate foods such as many root vegetables. The diet advocates eating the recommended protien for your body weight each day, keeping net carbs under 30 grams daily and eating more fats (particular fats such as extra virgin olive oil). I tried this for a couple of weeks last year and it made me feel so ill, on top of feeling dreadful with M.E. and triggered horrendous migraines so I thought maybe it just doesnt suit my body - and stopped it. I had my gall bladder removed 2 years ago, so I was concerned regarding my body's ability to digest such high amount of fats. I continued to read up on this and joined a group containing others with M.E. who have tried this diet - there were some who have had gall bladders removed who felt some benefit so I decided to give it another go, and try to persist. Given Dr Myhills 35 years of experience in treating patients with M.E. and her passion for helping us to get well, I felt her advice is most likely one of the best sources in the UK.

 So I found myself 5-6 weeks into this diet, feeling utterly dreadful, despite following it strictly, being in ketosis, eating all the supposedly right foods. On top of which I have been looking after myself - getting good sleeps ( Ive managed to improve my sleeping in the past 2-3 months) , careful planning and pacing, resting, avoiding/reducing stress, stopping drinking alcohol. I have spent most of my time at home this last 2-3 months, avoiding all most activities that would exacerbate my symptoms. I have taken all the recommended supplements to help mitochondria, energy production and immune system - CoQ10, NADH, Vitamin B12 sub lingual spray, Vitamin B6 & 3, flaxseed oil, evening primrose oil, magnesium, vitamin C, vitamin D, Carnitine. I stopped taking D ribbose whilst on the paleo keto diet as suggested in Dr Myhills book .

 A friend of mine had suggested I look at Dr S Grundy's The plant paradox and I thought I would take a peek. I came across a video of Dr Grundy in an interview and was extremely interested in his approach at helping people to recover from illnesses. In his research he has found that Lectins in foods are making many people unwell. Many plants produce lectins, Dr Grundy describes plants as producing lectins as a defense mechanism to ward off predators from eating them or their fruits/seeds. The lectins can cause a whole range of unpleasant symptoms and are present in so much of our food - even meat - as animals are being raised on grains ( often genetically modified and full of anti biotics which he states are also detrimental to our well being). So Dr Grundy advises a paleo type diet avoiding all foods containing lectins - and he has seen great results in his patients, so much so that he gave up his job as a heart surgeon to help people  get well using nutrition ( and other measures).

 Now whilst watching videos of Dr Grundy explaining his approach, I ate a spoonful of peanut butter as a snack. I had a relatively pain free morning, but in the hour following eating the peanut butter I developed pain throughout my body ( this is one of my frequent symptoms which I often cant put a finger on any cause). During a video he mentioned that peanuts contain lectin and can be one of the culprits to causing our symptoms - to avoid eating them. I had a light bulb moment and threw out my peanut butter :). Now it may just be coincidence that my pain occurred in the hour following eating this, but my gut feeling says its not. I decided right then to give his approach a good try.

 So today I have started his eating plan, with his 3 day phase one, having a nice green smoothie for breakfast. What I like about Dr Grundy is that, like Dr Myhill, he is making a lot of this information public so that people can try it themselves, unlike some clinics with secretive approaches who charge the earth - when people who are very ill with M.E. dont have incomes and simply cannot pay for this vital information to help them to get well.

My green smoothie consisted of a handful of rommaine lettuce, a handful of spinach, juice of half a lemon, half an avocado, fresh mint, and stevia/pure vanilla extract to taste - all whizzed up with water. Its surprisingly nice - and a fresh way to start the day.

For this altered diet to work its important to only  eat wild caught fish, pasture raised poultry that has eaten natural insects and plants - not been fed grains/antibiotics, grass fed meats where the animal has not been given grains/antibiotics. Now these are not the easiest things to find locally in the UK. and they not cheap - but I would rather give up everything to pay for the right food and opportunity to be well again, or at least  less ill. Luckily I live near the sea and a fish quay, my partner is going out hunting today for the right meat/fish. Im fairly confident that I should be able to get wild caught fish from local fishermen.

Last year I also tried cognitive behavioural therapy partially to see if it would help with my PMDD ( pre menstrual dysphoric disorder) and partially to help with M.E. I learned nothing new that I didnt know from being a nurse. But it led to a next treatment idea for the PMDD which is currently working well for me - despite my Dr not having a clue about this treatment, I quite literally had to explain the latest treatments to her. I now take Fluoxetine on the very first day of any symptoms for around 7 days, it helps me within 48 hours ( unlike the usual action of this drug which takes weeks or months) It isnt working as an antidepressant but it can allieviate symptoms rapidly. My whole life I have struggled with these symptoms not knowing it could be helped until last year - quite ironic that I start treatment as I start the whole perimenopause. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3442940/
But reducing my stress levels by getting the right treatment for PMDD is something that can help the M.E.

What I have managed to do is find my own ways to reduce stress, stop being a worrier and find peace of mind - I continue to strive to improve with reducing stress - its a work in progress, although I have just recently dealt with one of life's most stressful events relatively easily due to my new approaches. I use a lot of positive thinking strategies which are found in abundance on youtube.

 Another thing I tried last year was Acupuncture - from a lovely lady who has helped herself to better health following M.E. Now I do feel that timing was not good an I was on the brink of going through two very stressful things ( moving home etc) so I believe this may have affected my body's response. I attended numerous sessions, but  varying reasons resulted in difficulties in having a regular weekly session. My practitioner is a wonderful lady and I feel that at some point I would like to revisit and see if she can help me further, but at  that point last year I was not seeing signs of improvement - I really do think this was highly likely due to other factors and that if I can try it again now I might see some results, but feel other negative forces hampered my progress.  I did find that the acupuncture helped me on my path to sleeping better and also helped me to reduce stress. I had no choice but to stop treatments due to financial restraints, it is what it is -but I can see me trying to determine ways to pay for treatment in the future. The treatments brought me peace and calm at a time that was highly stressful and Im very grateful for the practitioners efforts. TBC

So towards the end of last year I moved into my wonderful partners home, I cannot express just how amazing he has been regarding the M.E. and helping to find a way forward to promote my best chance at recovery or being as well as I possibly can. He helps me with anything and everything that I struggle with, he prevents me from getting worse by doing all the cooking etc. I have been so incredibly lucky to find someone who is such a rock. I really feel that we are on this journey together and that he is holding my hand as we walk through it, negotiating the twists and turns  as just a different sort of life adventure. Michaels support has enabled me to use what little energy I have each day/week/month to do things I love instead of making myself ill doing housework and cooking, resulting in never managing to do what I love. So most weeks we go out on a drive somewhere nice and if Im up to it we explore a park/nature reserve/coastal path with me on a mobility scooter. When Im not getting out I use our dining room as a sort of mini studio to take photographs of flower etc - its all set up so that even if I only have a little energy all I need to do is sit at the table and snap away - with everything I need within reach.

Earlier in the year I had decided that when I struggled to get out I would concentrate on something positive to help me get through it, which is when I decided on doing mostly macro photography at a table top, sat down. I gave myself big goals - Ive always believed that if you believe you can do something then you can. So my aims were to try to get an image placed in the International garden photographer of the year and to do my best in the SWPP and NPS competitions as entering each month gives me a little something to focus on when stuck at home the majority of the time.
Well I didnt get placed, however I am really happy to have had a couple of images shortlisted in the macro section and to get my portfolio shortlisted. The images of the lady bird above and below  are part of that portfolio.

These next images were also shortlisted

I did even better in the National photograph society's monthly competition, being awarded a total of 22 gold awards and 41 highly commended - which landed me one of my proudest photography achievements to date - only last week I was announced overall Photographer of the year for the NPS - which is a massive achievement for me. I really hope that others with M.E. reading my blog manage to complete reading the whole blog and realise that even though ill and pretty much stuck at home for 95% of life it is still possible to make positive things happen - if you put your mind to it. This hasnt been easy - Ive suffered after every mini photo session and the majority of it has been done sat at a table at home. I started learning photography 13 years ago after getting M.E. and Im mostly self taught, having used the most basic, cheap equipment for many years, but perseverance and determination has got me to this point. So I just want to say to others with this horrible illness to keep going, and find ways to adapt, look for the most positive way forward that you can find at that time in your life and take things one step at a time.
Many of the images included are images awarded by the NPS. A few were also awarded by the SWPP.

I will try to update soon on my progress

My wonderful partner Michael - this one was awarded a gold too :)