Crash

So only days after my last post I lie in bed writing this. I am experiencing quite a severe crash. I felt quite unwell yesterday and could not sleep the night before. I ended up finally sleeping from 6pm until 4 am. I got up to eat and drink and struggled just walking between rooms. I ended up lying on the settee as sitting was too tiring - as ridiculous as that sounds. Ive last 5 hours and I'm back in bed. About to go to sleep as I'm completely wiped out. I did next to nothing yesterday due to exhaustion - walking back up our 2 flights of stairs after getting washing in was the most I managed and seriously wore me out.

Ive eaten super healthy and made sure Im not having too few calories as losing weight whilst my body is behaving this way is not wise. im drinking lots and taking all my supplements. I am continuing to do everything in my power to belp myself to feel well and recover. Ive started meditating daily and found it easy, its something I used to do a lot and it seems almost like second nature.

Ive got the opportunity to go out tomorrow to photograph waterfalls, which I would love. So batteries are charged. . fingers crossed I feel better than this tomorrow. So lots of rest and good nutrition today.

Ive got some jewellery making videos to watch today and planning for my next jewellery pieces. Ive prepared the components for two bracelets recently and might put one together later today depending on how I am feeling. Getting creative is a wonderful distraction when frequently feeling unwell, I would highly recommend it. It gives a sense of accomplishment which I feel is important when life isnt going quite to plan. You have the positives of enjoying producing something and sharing your efforts, either giving your results as presents to friends and family or selling to boost your income or cover your costs.

Enough writing for now I'm off to sleep.

The quest for good health continues - huge dietary changes.

So since my last blog, 8 only days ago Ive made large changes to my diet. I have done a lot of reading - mainly a booked called CFS unravelled, which explains one mans theory of the causes of CFS and how to recover. Its not that far from my own theories and thoughts so Im following his advice, as its extremely close to my current plans for health. As he has explained the reasons behind the requirement for supplements, I have restarted taking :-
 Magnesium,
 Vitamin B complex,

Vitamin D3 - 5000 IU after a good bit of research, I know this is more than what is conventionally prescribed but I really have researched it and i would need moe than 30,000 daily before it would be considered possibly too much. I am currently defficient, not surprising living in north UK and not getting out much lately.

Iron - the average woman at my point in life needs 33mg a day, more than twice what men do. Now after looking at my current diet plans of mainly raw vegan food, I get loads of Iron from a 2-4 of large handfuls of spinach/kale/rocket, fennel, courgettes, dandelion greens plus from various nuts, sunflower seeds and other seeds plus raw cacao, raw hummus, raw tahini,  But Im not convinced I will always get 33 mg so I will supplement and eat iron rich foods alongside vitamin C to help its uptake. I do wonder how people with rubbish diets eating takeaways and junk get enough iron though, at least I know Im giving my body the best nutrition possible.

Chromium which helps normalise blood sugar levels
 CoQ10 which helps with energy at a cellular level
Ginseng
St Johns wort
Ribbose, Creatine and Theanine all to help with M.E

I have also continued reading another book called Raw energy regarding the benefits of a raw plant diet. I already have a fairly sound understanding of nutrition due to being an ex nurse but reading this plus reading numerous articles/research on vegetarian, vegan and raw food websites has me absolutely convinced that Im doing the right thing for my body in changing my diet for the better. If only I had known as much about the benefits of eating raw foods years ago... I feel like shouting it from the roof tops and telling everyone how much better they can treat their bodies by changing even just one meal a day.
So my changes are - one or two fresh fruit and vegetable juices a day, one raw meal a day - could be a smoothie - I can fit so much nutrition into a smoothie, or a salad type meal, a soup or numerous other ideas.  Looking at all the recipes I  feel excited at the wonderful choices. So many are incredibly easy to make. For my last meal I might eat cooked food, it depends on what I fancy each day, but at the very least it will be vegetarian.  Meaning about 60-70 % of my diet will be raw food, packed with more nutrients than Ive ever had in my life, so I'm not worried about becoming defficient - I will need to keep an eye on things such as calcium content, pottassium and sodium levels, protien intake etc whilst getting used to this new way of living. I will be speaking to my GP re all this on my next visit and request that we keep an eye on my bloods etc whilst making these changes. My attitude to food has changed, I am eating for enjoyment too, but more eating for health. I do not look at becoming vegetarian and possibly vegan/rawist in time as losing out as many people do, I look at it in a positive way as Ive actually been m,issing out on such an amazing way to eat and live for so long.  I am excited at the opportunity to try new foods/ recipes. I have loved every single m,eal I've had this week and whilst I am not brimming with energy yet due to a couple of other reasons this week, I am 200% sure in time I will reap the benefits, and soon - I just need to get over a minor stomach upset and look at my other aspects of health regarding recovering from M.E.
Seriously, that first fresh juice of the day is like drinking a glass of pure sunshine. I've found a couple of recipes that help with any cravings for my favourate foods to, not that I will eat them in excess :) Here is one I love -
Thick Chocolate, peanut smoothie
1 frozen banana,
 2 handfuls of spinach/kale/dandelion greens - whatever greens you fancy
2 medjool dates
a tablespoon of peanut butter
a few almonds
a few sunflower seeds
almond milk
add a pinch of bee pollen and spirulina for extra nutrition if desired
After having a small one of those - I honestly don't think I will be craving conventional chocolate bars too often - this is tastier

This next week I am going to concentrate on learning a few more recipes and trying those. I am also looking into changing a handful of fruits veggie purchases into organic produce to avoid pesticides, I wish I could afford more, but slowly and surely I will get there. There are guidelines on the best 15 fruits and veg to buy organic which helps. I am also hoping to pass on some of this desire for tasty healthy foods to my daughter, but teenagers aren't always interested in what their mums say or do :).

I will be attending a yoga meditation class this week too, another area I am trying to help myself with, in reducing stress and how I react to it. This should hopefully be beneficial in my recovery, although I anticipate it may take time to learn to put into practice properly.

I've taken a step back from making my jewellery so I can put as much energy as possible into getting well/recovering. I have made a couple of bracelets in the last two weeks and have produced components for two other which I will be completing soon. But taking a step back will allow me to refocus on exactly what I want to make, what I enjoy producing, also whether to pursue this as a very small business or keep it as a hobby.

I have been out taking photographs once this week, images totally for myself, so no pressure involved. I visited the most beautiful, ancient woodlands in Morpeth, filled with more bluebells than I have ever seen in my life. It was heaven. Three of us spent about 3 hours wandering around with our cameras, it was bliss. Although I did not rest enough, causing a bit of a crash this week. Next time I will remember to take frequent short rests. I am tempted to rerturn as its so beautiful and I only just discovered the heaviest concentration of bluebells on leaving. Plus the light will be different. I will see how I feel over coming days as they wont be in bloom long.

Oooh and another benefit of eating so healthy - Ive lost 5lbs this week, which is a positive thing as I could do with losing about 20 lbs to be a really good healthy weight for my height. So I'm a quarter of the way there without trying really.

My pain levels remain better than they were too, no pain at all yesterday and today which is wonderful.

The latest

So I tried figuring in rest periods into my day, not that I was doing a lot any way, but I was constantly keeping myself busy  I avoided the boom bust cycle but felt no better. Although short rest periods do help me.
I did actually have a very unusual day where I awoke refreshed and managed to do quite a lot ( rest periods incorporated) without doing too much. But it seems it was a one off. Its not happened since. I found that by avoiding the boom /bust cycle, I was unable to do the things I wanted, simple things, but activities that always wear me out for days. Its left me feeling lower. So, I'm going with what works for me - doing the things I love whenever I can manage, despite the cost on myself in the days/weeks afterwards, but planning well. Doing the things I love keeps me happy, and pushes me to exercise more despite the exhausting consequences - it helps keep my heart and muscles healthy, and the benefits of happiness far outweigh those of doing things slowly and resting to conserve energy ( a very very boring/tedious existence). I want to get out and live my life. I would far rather be a little reckless once or twice a month, have the time of my life but be ill 3 weeks of the month, than sit at home minimising activities, only to realise I still feel ill.
I am not returning to the M.E dept as they simply haven't helped me, I seem to be able to help myself more.
I am working on optimising my health to the maximum possible and I'm currently planning a raw/vegan diet trial. All the supplements Ive tried have done nothing, so I'm stopping the all today bar Vit D3 as its a waste of time and money. I even tried anti depressants but found they took away ALL of my motivation, I felt numb, so that's a big negative as I'm a fairly motivated person and I refuse to take something that's going to dampen what I feel are my positive attributes. I will try St Johns wort to see if that helps perk me up a little, as I am flat from so many months of massively reduced ability to get out and get involved in normal life activities. So, this week I will be mostly looking into a raw/vegan diet, its benefits and drawbacks, recipes, talking to friends who eat this way and taking a very close look at exactly how to cover all my nutritional requirements this way. I have already started juicing again and replacing an average of one meal a day with fresh juice, so hopefully this will help with my transition to a new diet. I have vegan dishes prepared for the next couple of days. Time to get stocking up on some of the vital extras I will need - goodies such as Bee pollen, honey, various nuts and seeds etc. Ive just learned how to make nut milk and nut cheese - so will be trying those out asap.
Ive also decided to cut Rapeseed oil out of my diet, as I had quite a reaction to it by simply walking through a field - blisters on my legs which burned for 3-4 days. So whilst I experience no noticeable digestion problems after eating products containing it, there is always the possibility I'm sensitive to it in other ways, considering my body's reaction. Next time I'm at my Gps I will mention it. I have more or less cut it out from my diet over this last 5 days or so - but I needed to be vigilant - its in so many foods from cereals, spreads, vegetable oils, snack bars, crisps, all sorts really.

Some good news - my pain levels have finally started to reduce, its been hell for months, constant pain, made worse by cold spells, but these last few weeks my pain levels have reduced to less than half which is wonderful as pain is so tiring.

Re the heart stuff - Ive an appointment to have 24 hour heart monitoring tape fitted in June so the Drs can work out whats going on. My feet are swelling less this month which is good, but palpitations continue to occur - currently anything from 3 times a day to a couple of times a week.

I'm also prescribed a nasal treatment for the inflammation Ive got going on, its a months course and two weeks in its feeling no better, but I will persevere. My sense of smell is no better.

I did get away for a couple of days to an event that Ive wanted to go to for quite some time, the Beltane fire festival in Edinburgh. This was only possible with help from my lovely boyfriend, I could not have managed it without him. I had to taxi between points to reserve energy and sit down frequently and my boyfriend carried 90% of my camera equipment plus drinks etc. But the evening of the festival was magical, better than I had imagined and luckily not too cold. Just attending this has really picked me up and I cant wait to go again next year. I managed a wander around Edinburgh taking in the most beautiful cathedral and loved listening to the bagpipes being played. Its hard to explain the pleasure I experience being in Scotland and walking the places my father and grandmother walked many years ago - Scotland feels like part of me. Sadly, the result of getting away has left me quite unwell for over a week, but its worth it - everyone needs a holiday/break now and then.

Ive also decided to enter a few photography competitions again and won a graphics tablet by coming runner up in one. I was absolutely thrilled to be awarded two gold awards and 4 highly commended in the National photography society's monthly competition, and chuffed to bits that they have used one of those images as their temporary cover image on Facebook. So I have a little extra motivation to continue entering when Ive had some positive results.

I have started planning a series of photo shoots and I'm in the process of pulling together a creative team. I'm quite excited about this as we will be working on a theme that's totally me and Ive had some wonderfully creative and talented people show interest. I will just take my time with planning to get everything right, and have a good supporting team so we can make it all work. I'm really keen to get out doing portraiture again, but Ive made the decision to only work on my own projects from now, as my energy is so precious and the consequences of being so ill afterwards make it not so worth while working on projects that ultimately don't interest me. It will likely be a month or longer before the first one, but its something to look forward to. Ive also got a couple of gigs to look forward to where I'm photographing the bands - one in June and one in November.  ( I managed to photograph Hawkwind, one of my all time favourite bands, playing The Sage last month, amazing experience)

So overall, I'm slightly better than last month, with plans to change my diet to see if that helps. I wil try to blog soon to keep everything up to date. Enjoy the start of summer.